Thursday, January 26, 2012
Do You Do This?
I think after 33 years of marriage, you can put me firmly in the committed relationship category. But after only 3 years, I found myself nodding off when John would tell a story I had already heard. (So, even if you have only been together a few months, this question is for you too.) I try to keep a look of rapt attention on my face and am pretty sure I pull this off. I try to be zoned out enough that I don't try to move the story along a little faster by telling some of it myself. (John deserves better than this.) Then one day, I realized that I was telling the same story a few times myself. I looked over at John - he still seemed interested. He's a smart man; he must remember the anecdote. But there was no hint on his face. So I devised a test - I started occasionally (every 6 months or so) telling him stories that bored even me. And then I'd watch his face for that hint of a yawn. And there is a difference. He is still sweet and polite, but I can tell he would really like my story to either end or get more interesting. But my interesting stories never seem to get old to him. So, is everyone else as nice as he is? Are you? Is your Sweetie?
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My sweetie is nice about this, but I try to add a new and different detail each time I tell a story I know he has heard before. Sometimes, with his stories, I'll ask him to recite it to make a pertinent point about something.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Let's do a couple's taste-test! Being a writer, MP has stories--and I've heard them ALL. Okay, not all, but you can tell when I haven't. And that's after only 9 years of knowing each other and 3 years of being together. That NOD! I have it down. Meanwhile, I'm not a talker, so I'm not sure if MP has his version. Let's ask him!
ReplyDeleteOh Beryl, I haven't paid close attention to this specific thing, but I'm thinking Bill has that level of nice. However, I do not, sad to say. I'm not aware that Bill tells his stories very often, but now and again he'll go off on one of his 'rants' where he expresses a particular viewpoint that I might or might not agree with, but I dread hearing him repeat all the old dogma-according-to-Bill. It's worse since we've both retired and don't have as many other outlets (or 'inlets' to my thinking). I actually found a document with a bunch of conversation starter questions on another blog (something about Beauty & Bedlam) and have started selecting my question of the evening along with the protein for dinner. I've always thought myself fairly patient, but perhaps I'm not very tolerant of boredom. Or maybe I'm just not nearly as nice as my very sweet husband. I shall try to catch myself repeating a story...I hope I don't do it often, but perhaps it is human nature.
ReplyDeleteMy husband remembers everything! Especially a story I've told before. He is not very patient - he doesn't even want to hear new stories. At least, he doesn't want the drama. He just wants to know how it ends. Fortunately, he has other very good qualities and I have my blogs for storytelling.
ReplyDeletePS You might like my other blog.
I know I had this story somewhere! I had a good story about almost getting a parking ticket and my husband's impatience.
ReplyDeleteShelley, my husband and I disagree very strongly - very - on certain political issues and he repeats himself a lot. I tell him I might start spending a lot more time at the gym if he doesn't change the subject.
Oh Terri, you sound just like a newlywed! How sweet you guys sound.
ReplyDeleteHey Catherine - I agree to the test. We should have some kind of secret girl sign when the story is an old favorite. (Maybe the old standard - rolling eyes!)
And Shelley - I love how you describe spicing it up conversationally.
Hi Class factotum! I love your other blog. It makes me want a super secret blog to tell some of my real wild stories. Or just to vent my irritation when I find my husband scrubbing the toilet with my very expensive vegetable brush from Williams Sonoma. (Sound familiar?)
ReplyDelete