Anyone who knows me knows that I rarely watch the news. (And never at night - what's the benefit to going to sleep every night feeling badly?) I can't watch endless news reports of terrible tragedies that give no hint of anything I can do to help. That's not how I process things. I only had the news on today because there is a Tornado Watch in effect until 7 pm and my other choice was watching the soap opera that has the weather watch running at the bottom of the screen. (I think I'll get one of those Weather Band Radios.)
So I know they show the clip from the old Mary Tyler Moore show where she is at the funeral of Chuckles the Clown who died from having his elephant trample him and suddenly can't keep from laughing, as an example of how normal it is to get your emotional responses jumbled up - but that doesn't make me feel much better.
Anyhow - as I was watching the news this morning this very serious newswoman was reporting on that horrible nightclub fire in Brazil where a pyrotechnic display went wrong and over 200 people were killed. She was reporting that the band grabbed fire extinguishers and tried to put out the fire. I was so overwhelmed by the sadness that I was heading for the remote control to change the channel when she said that "sadly, one of the band members was killed when he re-entered the night club to save" (I stopped to find out who was so important to him that he would risk his life like this - thinking of my daughter's husband rushing to find her in the smoke), and at the point where I am so close to tears that I am looking for the Kleenex, she finishes with. "his accordion". And I (there is no other word for this sound) guffawed. Just for a second. Normal or not, I felt horrible. I might just post this for an hour or two, to use the cathartic effect of the blog and see if I feel better. Remember the bug on the toilet seat? Just writing about it made me realize I'd given that memory way too much importance.