Saturday, November 24, 2012

Living In A World Where You Can Chose

My Thanksgiving was terrific.  We spent it at the home of an amazing couple, who are so entertaining that we knew we were in for Big Fun.  Another couple, Eric and Simone, who we'd never met were coming too, and we were looking forward to meeting them.  It's funny how even when you have been told ahead of time that people are fabulous, they can still blow you away.  Eric is a Physics Professor and Simone is a Biological Archaeologist, (I think I got that right).  And her visage is mesmerizing.  I know, this goes against my feeling about using obscure wording, but the word "face" just wasn't right. As I sat across from her and Catherine, (she of the silken hair, sparkling eyes and smile, and perfect figure) , I might have felt like a major frump, if that was my nature, which is isn't - since my curly hair hasn't failed me yet.  And the conversation took over the table.  Wonderful!  I must admit that there were times when I was pretty sure my Science Minded Sweetie had never heard of that particular subject, but then we were off on another discussion that went in his direction and I was lost.  (Sports, anyone?)  Afterward, he said that even when he was lost, he was still enjoying himself.  Of course, he was sitting across from the fabulous Simone.
When we retired to the sitting room, an interesting thought was brought up by Chris, Catherine's boyfriend/soulmate.  His brother had refused to lend any validity to Chris's opinions in areas where he felt he had more experience.  I commented that I could understand (not necessarily agree) with the logic that his brother had employed to come to this conclusion, using what is for me a common example - that we have listened to other couples without children talk about what it is like having them, when we are the only couple who actually do have them.  (One of the few subjects that had not come up during the evening.)  My point, and I do have one, is that those other couples do have valid points to make.  I am perfectly happy with my decision to have children.  I don't have to belittle anyone else's decision not to have children.  I am happy that we live in a world where we can chose what's best for ourselves.  Many of my friends who are only 20 years older than me (and when Water Aerobics is your exercise of choice, you can end up with an older group of friends), never had the luxury of deciding whether or not to have children.  The generation gap when it comes to effective birth control is huge.  The college student of today can't comprehend not having that choice.  Also, I don't have to be an expert on parenthood.  (And never could be, because there are so many variables that I have not experienced.)
But back to my point - before I had kids, I was pretty sure my life would be better with them, if I found a husband who felt similarly in time.  (And anyone who knows me knows that I did!)  So I always made a point not to do that finger pointing thing, when other people's children were annoying in public.  Who knew that John and I would have perfect children, who never annoyed anyone?  Good Times!


  1. Sounds like a fabulous dinner party Beryl. I love meeting new and interesting people too. It is amazing how in one generation the idea that child-bearing might not be a matter of choice has all but disappeared. When I was a mature-age university student, there were lots of lively discussions with younger students on this and associated subjects.

  2. We went to a wedding last month and our companions at dinner were fascinating as well.

  3. Hi Patricia - And with my daughter's friends, it like the concept of vinyl records - they know we had them, but don't know how much trouble it was to keep them from getting warped, all scratched up, or just plain worn out from playing too much. (My daughter became a vinyl fan as a preteen, so I can't use her as an example.)

  4. Hi Shelley - I just love weddings. It's very lucky when you meet interesting people at the same time, because with the ties that a wedding implies, you usually get to see them again. My Jewish girlfriend brought together people from all over for the Mitzvahs, Bries, Weddings, etc - so her friends and family became ours. And her family came to our house for Christmas, because, really, where else was there for them to go?

  5. Oh wow, my head just grew three sizes! We loved meeting ya'll and had a great time. And yes I am grateful everyday that I was born into a time where I have the choices that I do. As for cowboy casual holiday - I suspect that means your best cowboy boots, your tightest jeans, and some *serious* bling on top!

  6. Hi Simone - Yep - you're my new girl-crush! But seriously, you guys were so much fun. If you're ever in Tulsa, send me an email. And give me a Trader Joe's shopping list - John and I are driving to California for Christmas and will have lots of room on the way back.
    Thanks for the fashion info - even tight, jeans are more comfortable than the outfits I have worn in past years.

  7. It was fabulous having all of you over for dinner. We've been wanting to bring you, John, Simone, and Eric together, because individual awesomeness just grows when the awesome is all brought together. I can't remember an evening when the conversation was more enjoyable or the laughter more belly-aching . . . except maybe that night in Paris (!!!!).

    Three cheers, too, to the fabulousness of choice. Watching the machinations of certain politicians has been making my blood boil over the past couple years, and it's made me ever more thankful for a doctor who simply believed that I really COULD make the choice not to have children and took care of it permanently. It's hard to imagine a world where birth control isn't a real option—and when I do imagine, dystopia comes up.

    And last . . . Simone is *gorgeous* inside and out. You and she make me glad to have been in Oklahoma.

  8. It was a great time! Simone and Eric are fascinating - not a term often used for a Physicist. And they are so happy in Oklahoma, which makes them a perfect resource when something here is confusing me.
    I think politicians need to be happier with their own choices in life, and not force their way of life on others. Who do they think they are? The Pope?